Badly thought out way to get the bad thoughts out.

Friday, 26 September 2008

Efdemin RA podcast


I've been listening to a lot of house and techno recently. I'm well feeling it and that but I've still failed completely to go to any four on da floor nights this year as I pledged to myself to do. It's been dubstep dubstep dubstep all bliddy year (plus some garage). Why?

1. I'm skint because I'm too lazy to get a job.

2. London is long like Friends repeats on E4 are in the tooth-piece.

3. When I think about standing in Fabric rushing nauseously on powdery pills while some guy with an intricate fringe plays on his laptop andbrings the kick drum in and out once every six hours, I start yearning for a nice cup of tea, a mortgage and children, and then my nipples start secreting milk everywhere, like Tina from Hollyoaks.

4. The only times I've seen techno/house DJs since Exit festival in 2007 (where I couldn't believe my drug-spun eyes) I've been pretty much bored stiff, rather than MADE STIFF (tee-hee-hee it's an erection joke) by them. The only real exception I can think of to this trend was Billy Nasty playing an acid house set at Bloc Weekend... I should mention that a green laser was shining in my face, I was wearing a tiny suit and I'd been snorting pills for breakfast. BUT the music was sick anyway - it was simple and raw and not overloaded with fussy little FX-farts.

Then again, I've only seen about four house/techno DJs since Exit festival, so I'm not exactly speaking from experience here. I need to get to some four-to-the-floor nights sharpish, preferably with my eyes rolling around behind a pair of Ray-Bans and a picture of a dog vomiting dicks emblazoned across my chest.*

Having typed all that rubbish, perhaps its time to arrive at the point. This Efdemin podcast from Resident Advisor is very great and has been taken down, so I've uploaded it again for anyone that's interested.

LINK HERE


1. KSoul + Ra.H - Turning Poing (sistrum)
2. DJ Jus Ed - Don´t stop Da Da (jus-ed recordings)
3. Manoo - Kodjo (Deeply Rooted House)
4. Raw Artistic Soul ft. Ursula Rucker - The Light (Karizma Deepa 1Ne Dub, Raw Artistic Soul)
5. Cassy - Somelightuntothenight (Beatstreet)
6. Sascha Dive - Deep In Rhythm (Deep Vibes Recordings)
7. DJ Dennis - I love to watch U dance (DJ Buck Remix) (force of nature)
8. Eddie Fowlkes - Save Message Remix (Cityboymusic)
9. Rennie Foster - Monochasm (xplormusic)
10. G-Man - Sparticus (Styrax Leaves)
11. Djinxx - No color man (F...U! Fcom)
12. Tobias - Dial (logistic)
13. Minimal Man - Make a move pt.1 (trelik)
14. Disko 3000 - Sabu Sabu Rugged Mix (body to body)
15. Shakleton - Blood on my hands, Ricardo Villalobos Apocalypso Now Mix (Skull Disco)
16. Petre Inspirescu - de bou (a:rpia:r)
17. Keith Worthy - Deep For Dayz (Sistrum)
18. Brendon Moeller - Pink Noise (Third ear)
19. Ferrer& Sydenham Inc. - The Back Door (Ibadan)
20. Tiger Stripes - Hooked (Liebe*Detail)
21. DJ Koze - All The Time (Philpot)
22. Andy Stott - Massacre (Modern Love)

**I think I should bet on techno nights, really - being in a house crowd might rub me the wrong way. Or to be more accurate, I might rub it the wrong way. Like in the wrong way that a man in a trenchcoat with gigantic spectacles might rub someone in a bus shelter at eleven p.m on the outskirts of Swindon. I wrote on here before about how I'm not a UKG kinda guy, despite fucking loving the music, and the same thing probably applies to house.

On a DNB/Dubstep dancefloor, where being a perma-scowling pleasure-vacuum who appears to be up for undressing the floor with his eyes is considered the very height of cool, I am in my element. But standing in a crowd full of perma-smiling, sunglasses-sporting, shuper-shexshy human-lucozade people who are all there to have a good time WITH EACH OTHER, I fear I will stick out, like a toddler turd in a paddling pool.

Now techno, on the other hand? That's a different kettle of fish in a barrel. I really think I could fit in with a crowd of poker faced skinheads who are perpetually grappling with the persistent conviction that a can of red stripe doesn't taste as nice as it did in 1992 and that Derrick May never got the flowers, and thus are mentally too far away to respond to the music with anything more than a slight chin-tuck or barely audible sigh of utter regret.

I'm not going to be a goth, the makeup is brass.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Get On That (Hardcore Mix)


See, I could/should have posted a picture of a beautiful nubile young woman in a bikini top being showered in emerald green laser strips to accompany an Old Skool mix, but is there anything more tempting to type into google image search than ''Gurning fuckhead mess off his bloody nelly jpeg''? Not that anyone who's never heard of fisting porn has heard of, that's for sure.

Besides, this spasming wreck is having a better time in this picture than I've had at a night in ages. The last time I had that good a time my eyes were rolling back in my head and I was screaming ''More CLIPZ!'' again and again. Everytime I've been pissed and stoned at a dubstep night in the past year, the only thing that would have made me that happy would have been if the DJs had started dropping tunes written by me that I'd never even heard before.

Anyway, this mix is by me good pal The Law and features a mixture of early 90s hardcore/proto-jungle, which is some of the best music ever made. It's raw, euphoric and ludicrously inventive.

Law himself says...

''Knocked this up from a few vinyls of mine and some mp3s (some of these are well out of print) on my PC, so I cant take much credit for the mixing really.

Features many a classic, all tunes that Ive loved from hearing years ago, recently only ID'd some of them. All take me back, although not to 1992, to 1997/99 when the local pirate always had 'oldskool sundays'

Anyway if you are not an expert on this era (like me) this is a good starting point I suppose''

Law Anthemtastic 1991-1993 Hardcore Set (right click and 'save as')

01.. Shades Of Rhythm - Sweet Sensation - ZTT
02.. Lennie De Ice - We Are I.E. - i.e. Records
03.. Cosmo & Dibs - Oh So Nice - Moving Shadow
04.. Bizarre Inc. - Playing With Knives (Quadrant Mix) - Vinyl Solution
05.. The Prodigy - Pandemonium - XL Recordings
06.. 2 Bad Mice - Hold It Down - Moving Shadow
07.. Jonny L - Hurt You So (Alright) - Yo!Yo!
08.. Sonz Of A Loop Da Loop Era - Far Out - Suburban Base
09.. 2-X-Treme - X-Treme Theme - Empire
10.. 4 Hero - Cooking Up Yah Brain - Reinforced
11.. Jem 77 - I've Never Felt This Way - 21 Records
12.. DJ Edge - Compnded - Edge Records
13.. Blame - Music Takes You (2 Bad Mice Remix) - Moving Shadow
14.. SL2 - Drumbeats - XL Recordings
15.. Phuture Assassins - Future Sound (2 Bad Mice Remix) - Suburban Base
16.. Cloud 9 - Gonna Be Alright - Back To Detroit EP White
17.. Sonz Of A Loop Da Loop Era - Peace & Lovism (4 Hero Remix) - Suburban Base
18.. DJ Seduction - Sub Dub - Impact
19.. Dance Conspiracy - Dub War - Metamorphosis
20.. Fast Floor - Plight Of The Innovators - Smooth Recordings
21.. DJ Red Alert & Mike Slammer - In Effect - Slammin Vinyl

PROPER.

p.p.s: Check out Law's Dillinja/Photek etc. mixes also as they are bodacious.

KELIS PUSSY BIG LIKE THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS


Vybz Kartel grew up hard, but nowadays he can afford all of life's luxuries - like smoking a cigar in front of four clocks. The only clock I need is the one that says ''Vybz'' at the top-centre instead of ''12''.

You wouldn't find Sizzla smoking a cigar in front of four clocks, that's for sure. To Kalonj, four clocks just = four distractions from reading the Bible and cooking up goat curries for your mates. Vybz isn't really better than Sizzla at anything except perhaps a) beating Ninjaman in the face with his fists and b) singing about shooting priests with Glocks. But that's enough for me.

I'm not going to make a habit out of this but I had to post up this MP3 because it's chuffing jokes. Basically, it's a cover of ''Milkshake'' by Kelis in which Squire Vibles reveals to us both his distaste for having sex with women with loose pussies, and the enormous size of Kelis' cloonge.

The way Vybz tells it, you could smuggle Jay-Z, Beanie Sigel, Memph Bleek, all of RocaFella records roster and the entire cast of the Lord of the Rings (including Orcs) into Nas's dressing room just by stuffing them up Kelis' clangle. Kelis, it would seem, can sit on a man's face just by driving past him at a distance of up to a mile. Maybe that's why Nas looks so depressed all the time?

VYBZ KARTEL - NA MILKSHAKE

NOW KIDS - SING ALONG!

CHORUS:

Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)
VERSE 1:

Guh weh dutty bitch nuh cockey neva 'itch
She salta dan Annie Palmer de white witch
Har mout' feel more balls dan cricket picth
And The punani size n uh dacta caan stitch
Dan, nuh gal caan get real man fi switch
Nuh matta how mi luv har
Nuh matta how she rich
Some bwoy mout' occupy piss
Gal spin like satilite dish
Pan cockey like dis

CHORUS:

Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck Gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis Pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)

VERSE 2:

Coolface,
She wicked eeh
She insipid eeh
Milkshake sell a Burga King or Mickey D
Yo Dickey D,
Yuh nuh she the Gal a ickey dickey d
Nuh pity fi she dozen cockey fi she, from we
Henniesea, Red Bull, Guinny P
Get buck lakka Kartel
Weh we nuh pree
Nuh watch June plum juice, nar cherry juice
an' a batty an drink Fish Tea

CHORUS:

Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck Gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis Pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)

COME


Ya dun know the myspace.

Friday, 19 September 2008

Maximum + Spyro on Rinse FM

Maximum b2b Spyro on Rinse last night...

This is the hypest thing you can afford to get in these difficult times.

Here's Elijah's original post about from which I nicked the link (good blog besides that).

bobs and bits


First thing is, with tragic predictability, first - you should go to Luke Envoy's myspace page and listen to ''So'', which is forthcoming on Tempa. It makes me want to bubble and flex, whatever that means. Longvoy's latest actual release ''M.U.G.E.N.'' is bloody good too, a real swaggering badboy and the flip is a militant head-banger cooked up with the help of Headhunter.

''Trapdoor'' could well be one of the last tunes Headhunter makes in that ''being smashed over the head repeatedly with a length of iron piping'' style, if clips from his forthcoming album are anything to go by. His latest bits, first previewed on Mary Anne Hobbes' show earlier this year, seem much less compacted and brittle, both sonically and rhythmically.

While I was writing this the album became available (on CD) here... And listening to clips I think I was quite premature/entirely wrong in announcing the death of the fist-pumping Headhunter style. Nevertheless, it all sounds immense, particularly ''Lifeform'' and ''You Say''.


Well, fuck me sideways if second thing isn't second! Download this mix by the man like the myth like the Braiden if you know what's good for you. This is the kind of mix that will quickly turn you into one of those people who hate what's good for them... I suppose bands like Snow Patrol are quite good for you, just like vegetables, a gym membership and not smoking 56 fags a day.

Give me Ruff Sqwuad, microwave spag bol and lung cancer any day of the week.

NB: I'm sure Braiden's actually quite a healthy and well adjusted chap. But I'm not.

Go HERE for the download

“My first studio mix for a couple of years, covering a range of styles and tempos. Painstakingly thought out, lots of mixing detail, some 3 deck action as well. Recorded with technics 1210s and pioneer CDJ200 with a pioneer DJM500 mixer. A few teases in the tracklist. Listen to find out! Don't forget catch my RinseFM show and Podcast (new time slot being arranged) and check the myspace at http://www.myspace.com/676549. Peace and Enjoy..”

Burial - Forgive
Darkstar - Squeeze The Lime
Mihalis Safras - Doo Doo
Claude Von Stroke - Who's Afraid Of Detroit?
Mihalis Safras - Colpo Grosso
Dexter - Midnight Cruiser
TRG - Less Music
Headhunter - Come Down
Ruff Sqwad - RSMD
Shut Up And Dance - Epileptic (martyn rmx)
Headhunter - Physics Impulse
Joker - Gullybrook Lane
Darkstar - Thugged Out 9
TRG - Missed Calls
Groove Chronicles - Stone Cold
The Tuss - Rushup i Bank 12
Dub Child - Take Me (boxcutter remix)
Paul Kalkbrenner - Atzepeng


Also floating my penis abreast a wave of sound currently is a mix of jazz tunes compiled by Woebot. It's part 48 of the amahhhzing Blogariddims series, and should be downloaded by you right about tomorrow or sometime this week. In his own words:

''Shunted off the stage and smoking in the alley. For a while Jazz had something like an Embassy but then its proponents drifted on to Reggae and Brazilian music. Now no-one (apart from you dear listener) gives a shit about it..."

Link HERE


1. Yuseef Lateef: Plum Blossom
2. Andrew Hill: Illusion
3. Gil Evans: The Barbara Song
4. Marion Brown: Bismillah Raxmani Rahim
5. Don Cherry: Brown Rice
6. Mahavishnu Orchestra: You Know You Know
7. Roy Ayers: We Live In Brooklyn
8. William Fischer: Circles
9. Weather Report: Non-Stop Home

10. Billy Cobham: Stratus

The tune about 12:16 in is totally tubular.


Finally, a mix from DNAudio head honchman Break from Tuesday's MAH show. I don't really keep up with DNB anymore but everytime I've seen Break DJ in the past I've been blown away... basically he can be a bit one-trick pony sometimes but it's a pretty effective trick : it's like if David Blaine could only chop his own penis off and make it appear inside the Vatican. Maybe not that good, but you get the idea... Anyway, this mix is pretty interesting, there's a few downtempo bits which might supposed to be dubstep. The good thing about that is, if they ARE supposed to be dubstep, they're not really obvious about it i.e. it isn't wobble central...

Right Click and Save HERE

Break (Feat Kyo) - 'Last Chance' (Symmetry Recordings)
Break - 'Lost n Found' (Symmetry Recordings)
Break - 'Reach Out' (Symmetry Recordings)
Break & Silent Witness - Abtn (Dub)
(Tease - Nico/Fierce/Break - Draw - Quarantine)
Break - 'Hooked Up' (Symmetry Recordings)
Shy Fx - 'Bambaata' Break Remix
Break - 'Thin Ice' (Symmetry Recordings)
Noisia - 'Peacock Strut' (Dub)
Break - 'It's Coming' (Symmetry Recordings)
Break - 'Is This What You Want?' (Symmetry Recordings)
Portishead - 'Machine Gun' Silent Witness Remix
Break - 'Symmetrics' (Symmetry Recordings)
Break feat. SP - 'Too Hot To Hold' (Symmetry Recordings)

... Phew... Now I'm going to wait ten minutes before I post Spyro and Maximum on Rinse last night...

Monday, 15 September 2008

Q: What Does A Nerd's Wet Dream Look Like?

Is it

A
OR

B

ROOM 237 & EXODUS

SATURDAY 1ST NOVEMBER

ROOM 1: EXODUS - DUBSTEP, DUB, REGGAE, DANCEHALL

MORITZ VON OSWALD FEAT. TIKIMAN (RHYTHM & SOUND, BERLIN)
THE BUG FEAT. FLOWDAN (NINJA TUNE / REPHLEX)
APPLEBLIM (SKULL DISCO)
DISTANCE (CHESTPLATE / PLANET MU)
RSD (AKA ROB SMITH / DUB RELATED)
IRATION STEPPAS (SUBDUB)
EXODUS (SUBDUB / EXODUS)

(IRATION STEPPAS SOUNDSYSTEM)

ROOM 2: ROOM 237 - TECHNO, ELECTRONICA

POLE Live (SCAPE)
T++ Live (HARDWAX / MDR / EROSION / CHAIN REACTION)
NEIL LANDSTRUMM Live (PLANET MU)
DAZ QUAYLE (SCSI-AV)
P45 Live (ROOM 237 / SEQUENCE)
COMPUTER CONTROLLED DJS (ROOM 237 / SEQUENCE)

LEEDS WEST INDIAN CENTRE, LAYCOCK PLACE, LEEDS, LS7 3JA
DOORS 10PM-5AM
TICKETS £10 ADV + B/F FROM www.rm237.co.uk/tickets (NO B.F), TRIBE,
JUMBO & CRASH RECORDS
INFO: 0113 2433414 / 07764208202
INFO@TRIBERECORDS.CO.UK / WWW.RM237.CO.UK


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