10 Things I'd Like To Do With Angelina Jolie That Don't Involve My Penis

1. Tear her lips off with my fingers, squeeze them around my waist and hurl myself down a water slide screaming ''Bombs awaaaaay!''
2. Go and see the Planet Earth film at the I-Max, and force her to eat a jumbo hot dog while I get my penis out and rub it delightedly
   

Ohhh TITS. :-(

TOP TEN GOOD THINGS THAT DON'T INVOLVE WILLIES

1. LIFE IN COLD BLOOD starts tonight. It will probably feature things I never imagined possibile, like a snake eating an elephant and a crocodile pulling a model at an art opening.
2. MJ COLE- SINCERE
3. THE WIRE SEASON 5: Omar to contract cancer in Episode 8, to cure cancer Episode 9.
4. FUTUREPROOF IN NOTTINGHAM LAST FRIDAY was great, and reassured me once again that world peace will only be achieved when Roy Davis Jr.'s 'Gabrielle' is pumped out over the plains and valleys of this simmering Globe and those that don't start rubbing their willy through a hole in their pocket at that point get beaten to death with a big sagging willy
   

I think I've got the flu