Badly thought out way to get the bad thoughts out.

Wednesday 26 November 2008

The Daily Brainteaser Part 1

Over the next this post, I'll be posing all my loyal readers (who are technically lower on society's scale of respectability than people who popped up on that BNP list with ''Keane'' written under 'Favourite Band') some tricksy braintwizzlers which will all revolve around my personal preferences, as expressed through the medium of this fucking awful blog.

Starting with an easy one today, simply look at the word jumble below and try and find three things that I'm a fan of! (There are a couple of things in there that I think are shit so be careful!)


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Tomorrow: ''What is an anagram of ''Nasty Marcus''''? or something...

Monday 24 November 2008

belch


First up, Pinch has done a mix to celebrate the first birthday of Rob Booth's humonghuge Electronic Explorations series. Loads of Pinch dubplates. Need I type more? I could do, but I'd probably end up writing the words 'dystopian post-humanoid neuro-sonic-architectautologlogical cerebrashards' or something, which would be unfair.

Right click and save HERE for the mix. For more info go to the EE website, linked just ^ up there.

[01] - DZ - Just Rollin (Akira Kiteshi Remix) - [Forthcoming ‘Black Acre’]
[02] - Jus Wan - Affletic - [Forthcoming ‘Applepips’]
[03] - Planas - Zulu - [Forthcoming ‘Ranking Records’]
[04] - Reso - If Ya Can’t Beat Em - [Forthcoming ‘Civil Music’]
[05] - Ben Sharpa - Hegemony - [Jarring Effects]
[06] - 16bit - In The Death Car - [Forthcoming ‘Boka Records’]
[07] - Enormous O’clock - Disparity - [Ai Records]
[08] - Millie & Andrea - Black Hammer - [Daphne]
[09] - Gunjack - Bruckshut’s Revenge - [Unsigned]
[10] - Kid606 - Die Soundboy Die - [Tigerbeat6]
[11] - Indigo - Ignite - [Forthcoming ‘Surface Tension Recordings’]
[12] - HxdB - Sedation Nation - [Forthcoming ‘Surface Tension Recordings’]

Pinch (Owner of ‘Tectonic Records’) In The Mix — EE.ORG 1st Anniversary Mix

01 - Pinch & Pavel Ambiont - Poison Antedote - [Dubplate]
02 - Pinch - E.Motive - [Planet Mu]
03 - Pinch - Attack Of the Giant Robot Spiders - [Dubplate]
04 - 30Hz - Mutate(d) (Pinch Rework) - [Lot 49]
05 - Pinch - Chamber Dub - [Soul Jazz]
06 - Deleted Scenes - Terminate - [Dubplate]
07 - Pinch - Midnight Oil - [Tectonic]
08 - Peverelist - The Blues - [Dubplate]
09 - Pinch & Peverelist - Revival - [Dubplate]
10 - Distance - V (Pinch Remix) - [Dubplate]
11 - Pinch - Joyride - [Tectonic]

[13] - Mount Kimbie - Maybes - [Forthcoming ‘Hotflush Recordings’]
[14] - Octa Push - Ai Nadia - [Dub]

Second up, the illustrious DJ Zinc is apparently DJing fidget house nowadays instead of DNB, and THIS mix showcases some of the stuff he now plays. I haven't got a tracklist and I haven't a clue what it might be, since I know fuck all about fidget house. I've always found this kind of music a bit too maniacally upbeat and self-consciously 'banging', but what with recently getting a bit sick of 'deep' music which seems to make up for in tastefulness what it lacks in energy, I'm actually finding this sort of inflatable mallet music quite refreshing.

Lastly (Subliminal Download This Hard House Banton Mix Message To Be Placed Here and Whited Out Later), on Sub FM the other night Hessle Honcho Ben UFO and Night Slugs uhhh Nice-Up Sultan Alex Bok Bok went back to back and played 2 hours of pretty much everything good (funky, niche, grime, garage, dubstep etc.) I posted up their previous b2b on here a while ago but I think this one is even better. Click HERE for the mix.

1. Theo Parrish - Took Me All The Way Back
2. Luciano - Mousa Big Band
3. The Martinez Brothers - My Rendition
4. Roska - Feline
5. Zander VT - Get Up
6. Rod Lee - Let Me See
7. DJ Mystery - Changes
8. L-Vis 1990 - Flux
9. Marcel Dettman - Shatter Proof
10. D Malice - My Joy
11. Christian Martin - Elephant Fight
12. X5 Dubs - I Wish
13. Radioslave - Tantakatan [Shed mix]
14. DJ Tameil - Body
15. Hard House Banton - Sirens
16. Lighter - Skanker
17. Sticky and Viper - I'm On The Mic
18. Artwork - Basic G
19. Lil Silva - Funky Flex
20. Roska - Our Father
21. James Lavonz - Feel My Dreams
22. Leee John - Mind, Body and Soul [MJ Cole mix]
23. Tubby - Slush
24. Bigshot - Stomp VIP
25. Rustie - Tempered
26. Trim and Scratch - Trim and Scratch
27. Scratchy - Shangooli (Geeneus remix)
28. Tasty Grits Production - Chase Rhythm
29. Distance - Repercussions
30. Milanese - The End [Untold remix]
31. Drop The Lime - Hear Me [Buraka Som Sistema remix]
32. D Malice - Gabryelle refix
33. Skream - The Bug
34. Silkie and Harry Craze - Favela
35. Rebound X - Mystery
36. Wizzbit - Emerald City
37. D1 - BG
38. Pearson Sound - Ex
39. D.O.K. - Royal Flush
40. Pantha - Damn Thing
41. TRG - Broken Heart [Martyn remix]
42. TRC vs Addictive - Right There
43. Silverlink feat. Jammer and Badness - The Message Is Love [Starkey remix]
44. J-Sweet - Gutter (Alias Remix)
45. Scuba - Tense
46. Octa Push - Ai Naida
47. Brackles - Lizards


# chin - check follows #

Eclecticism can seem tokenistic and shallow (''look at me, I'm playing Night AND Hearbroken!''), but when DJs with real knowledge and love for the music they play do it it can have a completely different effect on the listener: instead of being comfortably reminded of the greatest hits from different genres, you're encouraged instead to make connections between pieces of music you might never have linked, and to see familiar tunes in a different light. So, for example, a 'deeper' dubstep tune, when mixed into a grime or funky or house tune, almost becomes a different tune to that which it is in a set entirely consisting of deep dubstep.

Anyway, it isn't as if this set was an intellectual excercise or nuffin' - it was as 'banging', in its own way, as the most bait crammed Scratch Poiverts set (who to be fair are pretty fucking good at that kind of set). If anything, a set like this seems to discourage the usual genre'n'scene related chin-stroking by taking tunes partially out of their convention/anti-convention ridden scenes and encouraging the listener to see them as individual pieces of music (though ironically often also reminding you, in the process, of what you really love about certain genres).

I notice now that there's a definite theme going on in this post which I never intended to give to it... but this is what I've been thinking about recently, in an effort to distract myself from the global financial crisis, the crisp darkness that flickers at the core of every human soul and from not having enough money to buy the D Malice EP.

P.P.S.: here's something good by Masters at Work.

Monday 17 November 2008

Bizmarc Gorillacopter Mix

[Original photo removed due to copywrite violation. I can confirm that the above is a photo that belongs to me. Just don't ask me how. Hopefully I can get the other picture back somehow, because that one resembles my dreams more than my nightmares.]

People in gorilla suits are funny, no matter what they're doing. You could probably get a laugh punching a child in the face if you did it in a gorilla suit. This holds true even if the child was the one in the gorilla suit, or if you both were in gorilla suits. It's ''random'', innit, seeing a Gorilla punching a child? A bit like it was ''random'' seeing those planes fly into those tower blocks a while ago. Would that still have been tragic, though, if the emergency services had arrived at the site dressed as monkeys, and plastered wounds up with banana skin? And what about if the Hindenburg had made a noise like a big fart when it was descending, aflame, into the stone-eyed ground? Would we have wept if New Orleans had been flooded with custard? EH?

Right, that counts as an intro. This is a mix by Bizmarc of Futureproof, which throws together techno, house and funky. At the start you'll be stroking your chin but by the time 'Sirens' barges its way in you'll be stroking your goolies. Track 10, 11 and 12 I've never heard before and they are all big. Funky and techno are an odd mix - they seem to have different priorities in terms of energy vs. sophistication - but they definitely work together in this mix. Download it ( HERE ).

[ Go HERE to leave feedback cos I can't make comments work on here. Bizmarc/Futureproof/Corpsey would like to disassociate themselves from any offensive remarks made in connection to this mix about two paragraphs ago.]

1. Voltaic – Breed (Point.One)
2. Voltaic - Fin [Letroset's Remix] (Point.One)
3. Petter – Untight (Border Community)
4. Jeff Samuel – Fire (Poker Flat)
5. Hard House Banton – Siren (Spoilt Rotten Entertainment)
6. Dusty Kid – Psika (Boxer Recordings)
7. DJ Mujava – Township Funk (This Is Music)
8. Roska – Elevated Level (White)
9. Apple – Siegalizer (White)
10. Bakongo – Baga (Roska Kicks & Snares)
11. Misc. - Chemosphere [Headhunter Remix] (Lost Souls)
12. Andy Stott – Hostile (Modern Love)
13. Hard House Banton – Reign (Spoilt Rotten Entertainment)
14. Zander VT – After the Crash (BPitch Control)
15. Appleblim & Peverelist - Over Here [Brendon Moeller Remix] (Applepips)
16. DJ NG Feat. Katy B & MC Versatile - Tell Me [Geeneus Remix] (Data)
17. Claude VonStroke – Who’s Afraid of Detroit (Dirtybird)
18. Pendle Coven – Brick Tutor (Modern Love)

Wednesday 12 November 2008

Tea Leaf Dancers Fan-Video



This isn't official I don't think but it must have some sort of money behind it... anyway, it fits the tune quite well I reckon.

Tuesday 11 November 2008

If It Ain't Broke...


Look at that girl on the left of Loefah - she's fallen in love with his back. Either that, or he has this picture on the back of his oversized novelty slogan shirt:


... I'm not saying she's dumb, by the way. Look at him. I want to Rohypnol his eyebrows and put them in the back of a taxi.

Anyway, here's a mix by Loefah which I've just been listening to and is good, despite every tune on there being one you've heard about fifty times before. It's mostly the same reliable names behind these tunes, and I wonder now if all this talk of wobble vs. deep blah blah blah is really just a smokescreen to distract us from the fact that there's only about 10 really sick producers in dubstep and most of them were there from the start.

Click HERE for the mix (out to Tomity and 10 Bag for the assist)

Incomplete setlist:

1. Skream - ?
2. Benga -
3. Benga - Out of Phaze
4. Benga -
5. Headhunter -
6. Benga - The Cut
7. Skream - Make Me
8. Loefah - Jus a beat (probably not still called this though)
9. Cotti - I Don't Give a Dub
10. Coki - Untitled
11. Coki - Spongebob
12. The Bug - Poison Dart (DJ Baku Megamix)
13. The Bug - Skeng
14. Skream - Chestboxing
15. Jakes - 3kout
16. The Bug - Jah War (Loefah Remix)
17. Kromestar - Marz Attack
18. Quest - Deep Inside
19. Silkie - Hooby
20. Quest - Seafront
21. Mala - Miracles
22. Mala - Lean Fwd
23. Mala - Dun Stinky
24. Mala - City Cycle
25. Mala? -
26. Mala - Suddenly?
27. Mala - Livin Different
28. Mala - Jah Power
29. Mala - Learn
30. Mala - Shake Out Ya Demons
31. Cotti & Doctor - Calm Down
32. Coki - All Of A Sudden
33. Benga - Crunked Up
34. Benga - Flame






Friday 7 November 2008

SHAZAM!


Just a quick announcement for all my millions of devoted fans and fantasists - on Sunday the 22nd of November, those Americans and satellite dish owners amongst you lot can tune in at 9.00am EST to HBO for my inaugural HBO hour, '(untitled)'. The show will announce me on the world stage as the new David Copperfield, and the post-modern David Blaine. The following unbelievable illusions/actions will be performed to the amazement and hoped-for sexual arousal of a captive audience of disgruntled house-wives and the terminally stoned.

SAWING A WOMAN IN ONE - In which I will place my beautiful assistant, Kerry Katona, in a pine box and rub a hand-saw flatly against every side of said box while smoke is pumped out of nozzles into the audience members eyes. When the smoke clears, I will release Kerry from the box and she will emerge (hopefully) in one biologically functioning piece. To prove that this is not a mere illusion, she will - in front of your incredulous face-balls - eat an entire apple, stamp her feet for twenty seconds and will read and fail to understand one word of a page of Jacques Derrida's 'Writing and Difference'.

PULLING A HAT OUT OF A RABBIT - In which I will take a dead and suspiciously porcine rabbit from an Asda bag full of leaves, place it on a table, scatter a handful of glitter over it, henceafter stick a big knife in the pile and jerk it around until it starts cutting the table in two, and finally will pull a REAL Nike air baseball cap from its guts. This, though we know that a rabbit would never eat an entire cap! To prove that the hat is real, my beautiful assistant, Kerry Katona, will put it on her head and nod thirty two times.

THE BIRD-LIKE FLIGHT OF MAN FROM STAGE TO FLOOR - In which I channel the spirit of the Eagle by french-kissing a falcon while staring into its eyes, before running straight towards the edge of the stage and leaping several feet INTO THE AIR! Yes, you will not believe your brains as you witness the great magician appear to float through thin air without being connected by any of his body parts to the floor! To prove that I have not got any wires attached to my back, my beautiful assistant Kerry Katona will strip me naked before the trick and slice off three inches of my back, buttocks, thighs and calf muscles with the magical Cheese Grater of Papua New Guinea.

THE MAGICAL BALL-VANISHING-DOWN-THROAT ACT- I will start this act by revealing a washing-basket with 600 red-felt balls in it, and then will proceed to amaze and astound by making every one of the 600 balls disappear (temporarily). Simply by waving each ball in front of my mouth, I will be able to dematerialise each one for up to three seconds before the cosmic forces begin wrathfully farting up my nose, causing me to be violently sick 600 times. To prove that the vomit is real my beautiful assistant Kerry Katona will Klinsmann dive into it and start paddling around in it like an amused child in candy floss.

Finally...

I WILL MAKE THE AUDIENCE'S INTEREST DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR! Simply by spending the last thirty five minutes of the special sitting with an implacable expression of utter banality plastered across my face, occasionally picking my nose and examining the snot without joy or derision. With ten minutes to go, I will cough twice, deceiving those few remaining viewers into believing that I am about to vomit. However, I will not vomit, but will simply cover my mouth with my eyes slightly widened, before letting my hand drop back to my lap. The camera will, at this point, zoom in on my almost-twiddling thumbs, and will began to transmit this action at approximately 1 frame per hour.


Muso Stuff vol 321



YES.

Next -

Go HERE to listen to Jamie Vex'd's lurching monster of a Scuba RMX immediately. This is such old news that its coming out soon, but if you don't know now you know. The other tunes on there are big too.

Click HERE for the last hour and 25 mins of Marcus Nasty's latest Rinse show (big up fokse vektaire xeven off Dissensus for the rip... sorry if I've misspelled your name on three hundred seperate occasions in that one attempt). By now you should know that every Marcus set you can get your hands on is a good Marcus set you can get your hands on. I was gutted to miss Marcus apparently repeatedly underlining what his DJ name is to a FWD crowd last Sunday.

Funky is definitely the best thing around at the moment that you can't butter and then put scrambled eggs and cheese on. I'm making some funky tunes myself now on Reason, so expect never to hear them unless you steal the girl of my day-dreams and I end up torturing you to death with a straight razor and appropriate soundtrack.

In Dubstep ''NEWS''

Look below for the lineup for what is sure to be one of the best FWD's of the year, in what has been an increasingly good year for the night. D1's forthcoming EP on Tempa is the tits, especially Oingy Boingy. I've really slept on D1 over the years, I promise I will do better next time though.






I went to the Leeds 237 thing last weekend where Appleblim/Distance/RSD/T++/Pole etc. were playing. I wanted to write a big pretentious thing here about the fusion of techno/dubstep and inner/outer space and ketamine vs. javascript, who will survive? but to be honest I was sabotaged by Dragon Stout and I can't remember anything wot happened really. I'm pretty sure RSD smashed it, tho...

Notably, I was reminded that although 'deep' dubstep and techno are usually seen as very po-faced nerdy forms of music for looking pompous too, actually most of the time even the most reverb-drenched tunes are being made to make people who have drunk a lot of cider dance around like twats. We're all out to dance like twats, we just come at it from different angles.

Oh, and that Luke Envoy 'So' tune is coming out soon on Tempa's All Stars Vol. 5, which is pretty much all round solid.

Pets That Look Like Their Owners Vol. 1

No wonder he's smiling! I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the pound when he found this happy little fella! He musta been like - ''OH MY GOD, JINX!!!'' ROFL!!!

A lot of people slag off rappers for being immoral and lacking in compassion, but at least Master P doesn't keep HIS dog in a fucking handbag like Paris Hilton! He even gave the little terrier a pair of shades to protect his widdle eyeses! Awwww!

Seriously, though, it does look a lot like him.



Jesus! Even if you took away the novelty shorts and shoulder pads this would still be like looking at a pair of identical twins!

[N.B: Don't call the RSPCA just yet! It's important when you have a pet cat to teach it as early as possible that weeing on the carpet is WRONG, no matter how identical in appearance it is to you.]

WTF?!?!

I can't really think what the fuck a rabbit is going to be able to say into a microphone. Maybe it's a ventriloquist jig - the owner says something like ''I wih eh'd gih meh a bih meh fuhin LEHUH!'' and everyone starts pissing themselves. Although really, the fact that he looks exactly the same as his rabbit should be enough.


You can see what the wheeze is! That stick insect looks EXACTLY like him. It's like looking at a mirror-image version of you that eats leaves or something! Spooky!

Where the fuck did she find a cat that tall?!?!

Monday 3 November 2008

Funky Sets On You-Tube

Biggup someone else for alerting me to these interviews/mixes with

Lil Silva



Roska



and Marcus Nasty