Vybz Kartel grew up hard, but nowadays he can afford all of life's luxuries - like smoking a cigar in front of four clocks. The only clock I need is the one that says ''Vybz'' at the top-centre instead of ''12''.
You wouldn't find Sizzla smoking a cigar in front of four clocks, that's for sure. To Kalonj, four clocks just = four distractions from reading the Bible and cooking up goat curries for your mates. Vybz isn't really better than Sizzla at anything except perhaps a) beating Ninjaman in the face with his fists and b) singing about shooting priests with Glocks. But that's enough for me.
I'm not going to make a habit out of this but I had to post up this MP3 because it's chuffing jokes. Basically, it's a cover of ''Milkshake'' by Kelis in which Squire Vibles reveals to us both his distaste for having sex with women with loose pussies, and the enormous size of Kelis' cloonge.
The way Vybz tells it, you could smuggle Jay-Z, Beanie Sigel, Memph Bleek, all of RocaFella records roster and the entire cast of the Lord of the Rings (including Orcs) into Nas's dressing room just by stuffing them up Kelis' clangle. Kelis, it would seem, can sit on a man's face just by driving past him at a distance of up to a mile. Maybe that's why Nas looks so depressed all the time?
VYBZ KARTEL - NA MILKSHAKE
NOW KIDS - SING ALONG!
CHORUS:
Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)
VERSE 1:
Guh weh dutty bitch nuh cockey neva 'itch
She salta dan Annie Palmer de white witch
Har mout' feel more balls dan cricket picth
And The punani size n uh dacta caan stitch
Dan, nuh gal caan get real man fi switch
Nuh matta how mi luv har
Nuh matta how she rich
Some bwoy mout' occupy piss
Gal spin like satilite dish
Pan cockey like dis
CHORUS:
Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck Gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis Pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)
VERSE 2:
Coolface,
She wicked eeh
She insipid eeh
Milkshake sell a Burga King or Mickey D
Yo Dickey D,
Yuh nuh she the Gal a ickey dickey d
Nuh pity fi she dozen cockey fi she, from we
Henniesea, Red Bull, Guinny P
Get buck lakka Kartel
Weh we nuh pree
Nuh watch June plum juice, nar cherry juice
an' a batty an drink Fish Tea
CHORUS:
Mi nuh drink milkshake a guiness inna mi yaad
Yuh Damn right man a real ol' dawg
Mi nuh fuck Gal if dem pum pum large
Kelis Pussy big like G.P Prison yaad. (x2)
